“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”
– Theodore Roosevelt (via feellng)
Break Your Heart Right Back (feat. Childish Gambino)
"She’s really pretty for a black girl"
“He’s really cool for a gay guy”
“She’s doing really well for a woman”
There comes a point after a relationship where you think to yourself… Damn, I’m tired of being that broken-hearted girl/boy. And you then realize that life moves on freely and smoothly! That relationship you cried for months, seem to be something to laugh about. Surely, I know from personal experience because I was that depressed wreck, a hot mess – if you will. I won’t go into all the sloppy-ass details because truthfully all of that doesn’t matter anymore. It has been about 3 months since I broke up with “Him”. Well, he broke up with me. But that’s besides the point: We were over for months and it took me, hmm… let’s say YESTERDAY when I realized that “Omg, I need to like Stop!”
It’s all in the mind. I’m telling you: It’s all in your thinking. I will give you 5 Solid Ways to really change your mindset and move forward in life without your “Ex”.
1. The Art of Letting Go.
Let go of the whole situation! I’m not talking about letting the person go because I still do believe that you can be friends with your Ex (after a long time apart). But I am talking about letting go of those lost dreams, letting go of the reason why you broke up, and letting go of all the lost plans and hopes you had with them for the future. Think of it like this: Do your heart a favor and stop putting yourself through that emotional rollercoaster. If you don’t learn to let go, know to let go, and ACTUALLY LET GO… then you will probably beat yourself up about the situation, annoyingly call or text your EX (who has already moved on), or get angry at the whole situation that you become jaded to the present and the future. The Past is in the Past. Let it stay that way. Burn those bridges and MOVE FORWARD, bitch. And if you do, I doubt you will still be missing your Ex.
Forgiveness. Along the lines of letting go of your Ex. Learn to forgive the wrong you have done in the relationship. Learn to forgive your partner in however way they hurt you. Yes, he/she promised you blue skies and double rainbows. But c’mon: People are human and things change. No one is that constant. So forgive them for being human. Yes they hurt you and you may want to hurt them too, but someone once told me that “you can’t move on without forgiving those that hurt you”. And it’s so true when it comes to a failed relationship, you have to forgive and forget. Again, not forget the person… because that person did give you those “blue skies” once, but FORGIVE AND FORGET THE SITUATION OF THE BREAKUP. Do your heart a favor and forgive them.
3. No Hate.
Along the lines of Forgiving. I don’t want any of you kids out there hating your EX’s. If you do you’re gonna be that bitter bitch that says no to Love because you were hurt by some “bastard” you played you. Don’t think that way. You can’t truly move on without not hating. So forgive, let go, and don’t hate them. Think about it, They gave you good memories. Yes, the relationship didn’t work out and that’s okay. Forgive. Let Go. After you let go, I guarantee you wont feel the need to club your Ex with a baseball bat. Because, it’s done. There’s no use in showing ANY emotion but civility to the one who used to have your heart.
4. Learn from This.
Learning from a relationship is a great way to forgive yourself. You were in the relationship too and you contributed to the hurt and heartbreak, so you must have done something to piss him/her off. Recognize it and ask yourself is this a quality that I should change. If yes, then in the next relationship be a better person for certain someone. If not, then they weren’t even worthy of your time and investment because they cannot accept who you are. That is to say also, once you are done: Don’t have the need to change your Ex. They are not yours anymore (thank god) so you have no say in how they live their life. That’s for the next girl/boy to deal with. No you. You tried your best.
5. Do You, Be You. Stay True!
Yes! This is important! See, when you are in a relationship, you gave that person a part of you. You have given them your plans and dreams and goals ect ect. And now that they are gone, it may seem like all those dreams went down the drain and you wasted your time. NO. Those plans and those dreams are still YOURS! Take them back and realize that YOU, yes Y-O-U, can make those dreams happen without him/her. It may seem hard but listen: Believe it or not, You were a functioning human being long before your Ex came into the picture. You were an independent byotch who didn’t give up so easily on your goals. Find out those goals again. Take them back in your life and realize that you can achieve anything without a man. All you need is You, baby! Be strong and independent. You don’t need someone to make you complete – You need you honey! So I advise into tapping into your dreams and your plans for the future. Then Do it. Period. Make them reality. You’ll feel better about yourself because you are worthy enough in putting yourself as top priority. So stop waiting for your EX or another man/woman to put you on that throne… GET UP FROM YOUR ASS AND PUT YOURSELF ON THAT PEDESTAL BECAUSE YOU ARE A BOSS-ASS BITCH! Don’t be dependent, you are not a frail girl, you are a Beyonce… NOT A KELLY ROWLAND.